| I heard this today on NPR on All Things Considered on my way home today: http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=10536016 It ticked me off, so I thought I’d share. On the other hand, though, I’m understanding, perhaps, why I’m not married, or, “content”….I am plagued with the torturous drive of wanting something more out of my life.
Take a read or a listen. I’m curious to hear what others think. Non-complacently yours, as always, BB |
I’m married, very happily -and also disagree w/ the “settling” lady. a love that helps you strive for more, is there to encourage you when you accomplish goals, and pick you up when you fail- and laugh at you- is worth waiting for. otherwise, a roommate is fine.
I think that’s missing the point - the author states clearly that she is happy. We can only live our own lives, so if it makes her happy, that’s all that matters. One can always identify ways that life could be better, but not having those things needn’t be a deal-breaker. I think “settling” is quite a loaded term, and is used as such here - it’s not like she’s saying “well I don’t really like my husband, but at least I’m not alone.” Somewhere in this discussion is the idea of expectations, and the fact that many people look to marriage, children, careers, etc. as a means to achieve happiness and fulfillment. I’m just not sure it’s a good idea to look to someone else to make you happy - chances are you’ll both end up miserable. Remember, the people we love are the ones most likely to disappoint us, because we actually care about what they think and do. Accepting that isn’t “settling.”
I certainly agree that the author is “happy”. and I have no problem, or energy to worry about how other people live, -I certainly didn’t say that I was relying on my husband to make me happy, I am happy alone or w/ him- I was however saying, it’s not a good idea to get married as a goal. and settling is convincing yourself it’s good enough, instead of waiting for someone you really click w/. and if they never happen along, being content and happy w/ yourself.
I agree with both; the author or maybe her husband somehow forgot that marriage is a give and take. People do change in life just as a rock rolling down a stream changes shape. Anyone can be content with there life and marriage, it does not mean they settled with it. Settling occurred when the author decided to get married even though their lives were so different.
That is the most depressing fucking thing I have ever heard.
Bullshit.
I have the temerity to make choices to strive for better. That doesn’t mean leaving my wife for something hotter - it means NOT settling for just “OK” in our lives together.
Or in my life individually.