Archive for February, 2007

A ‘Bu Ride, Killing a Squirrel, and A Fishhead.

Sunday, February 25th, 2007

I got in touch with Coach Nate Loyal in Santa Monica, looking for some pals to ride with in SoCal. I managed to track him down on Ocean and San Vicente, and much to my pleasant surprise, his “crew” included some boys I hadn’t seen since last year: Stevic, Chepe, Sterling….Good crew. In any event, Slover, Nate, Laney and I carried on down the PCH while the others turned up a canyon. We came upon a squirrel that appeared to be taking a dirt nap, but miraculously resurrected and darted right under my two wheels. I creamed him, I thought. The guys thought it was hilarious and I thought that I was just glad that lil bugger wasn’t slippery. Even though I feel heavy, apparently I was not chubby enough to take him out, as he darted away when I was through with him.

And on that note, a guy on Venice Beach made my day by yelling, “HEY! SKINNY! YOU WANNA BUY A CD FOR $10!??!” Out of all the circus acts and chaotic sideshow acts, I gave my money to the guy that asked me for money for wine.  Ok.  No BS. 

And speaking of that, I went out for dinner with some friends last night and thought I’d try something new, something healthy and light, so I opted for the tilapia. The chef served it as a whole fish, fins, skin, eyeballs, gnarly little teeth and everything. Just slapped onto my plate. I thought about sending it back and having them at least chop off the head, since I was grossing my own self out by using the head as leverage to dig into the meaty back. I kept catching it’s eye peering at me while I dug into it’s meaty back. Tasty friend, why you gotta stare at me, while I eat your meaty back??

That’s it, from the 2-1-3, over and out.

BB

Holy shit, we just figured out the universe!

Thursday, February 22nd, 2007

I was talking about some people I know that work hard, have always known exactly what they wanted to “be” when they grew up, and are those people now, just like some sort of a mathematical equation.  Only, they hate their jobs, hate their spouses, hate thier 2.3 kids most days, and hate themselves every day.  Which led us to this brilliant realization about the ‘other’ people.

A friend worked with a guy in the film industry that got a great paying job through some buddies because he happened to be at the right bar, at the right time, appropriately as drunk as they all needed to be, and started work having never been told what his job was.  So, he goes to his office, disappears and plays Playstation 2 all day and signs a couple of checks when he’s presented with them by the people mentioned in the previous paragraph.

THe deal is, the more competent you are, (more…)

Vignettes from Planet Not-So-Bright

Tuesday, February 20th, 2007

I asked my friend, Corinne, the other day, “What Planet is she ON!?!”, to which she replied with, “that would be Planet Notsobright.”.  There are lots of people in LA that are Notsobrightians, including me. (more…)

High Speed Week

Saturday, February 17th, 2007

I am discovering that my drop-everything-I’m-moving-to-LA trick was a good one. It’s starting to sink in how not just serendipitous my falling into my job was, but how miraculous it is.  One trip to West Hollywood the other night, hanging in the drink and eat places, made it apparent how many out of work designers are waiting tables.  Huh.  I just don’t know how I swung that one. Work is good.  It’s work.  (more…)

“If I just make it to Hollywood, people will love me.”

Tuesday, February 13th, 2007

We heard a little dude mention that on American Idol tonight.  I didn’t make it to Hollywood (well, technically, I did, as I drove through it on the 101 twice today).  I am however, in the porn capital of the world and can get a boob job down the street, in most directions. I’m pretty content, however, to watch and learn.

Whether I’ve made it to Hollywood, the Valley, or to Hill Street, I do know I’m loved.

Thank you to all the people who have made my plans possible.  I could not do it without such good, good friends.

Happy Valentine’s Day, sweeties,

BB

Hey everybody! I’m a retarded bully!

Sunday, February 11th, 2007

hahhaha.  Oh yea!?! well, at least I’m not a smelly retarded bully, so there!!!

Speaking of nutters,

www.raceclean.org

BB

We’re in sync with whatever your marketing strategy is, just give us the money please.

Saturday, February 10th, 2007

Jenette, my teammate is visiting me.  I just overheard her say the above to our team director on the horn. Ah, Jenette, I  just love her.  We took in the Shootout this morning, a ride of, as Gord estimated, nearly 250 strong.  It’s nuts. I made my rare appearance to the common sounds of, “what got YOU out of bed this early??”.  I pointed to Jenette.  A motion I will be doing often in 2007.  But the Shootout.  It is safe to say there is nothing like it.

Case in point: No crash on the University train tracks today as per the norm, but our buddy, Evan, spotted a crash on a drainage grate that mutilated a guy.  His bike got kicked up into traffic and run over and mangled. Thing is, he showed up for coffee, post-ride, wearing his bloody head, shredded face, and one would think, humbled self, as a trophy.  He sat proudly at the bus stop telling the war tale to bikers-by.  Huh?  Ok.  This is nuts.

Other nuts news:  I’m headed to LA cuz I got a jobby job downtown designing high-end residential lofts and warehouse spaces.  That, too, is nuts.

I start, uh, Tuesday.

K, so, contact Dick Surges if you want to by my condo. He, too, is prolly nuts, but whatever.  He’s my agent.

Remember, kids, TrimSpa Kills,

BB

Pink’s Poison

Tuesday, February 6th, 2007

We ate the best hotdogs in the world last night.  It was so hard to choose between the Rosie O’Donnell Dog, the Lord of the Rings Dog (covered in onion rings), and the straight up hotdog with pastrami, saurkraut, and swiss from Pink’s.  I chose the latter and poor Corinne chose wrong and spent all night and today barfing her brains out.  Too bad they were filming some Travel Channel bit.  I wonder if they chose right like the rest of us did.

I have an interview in Downtown LA tomorrow.  It’s a design position.  I guess it might be official…..I am nuts.  Or, proactive, at least.  I don’t believe in people staying in situations that they don’t like.  Battling things that clearly are not working. I’m the poster child for that.  I am sick of being poor, so rather than working at Einstein’s Bagels for $7.50 in Tucson, I’m beginning my trek to San Francisco to finish my MFA in Interior Architecture and Design. Next stop: money and all that.

Today, I mentioned to Corinne, “I think people see me as so much of a flake that I can’t find my way out of a paper bag, but the truth is, I make so much fun for myself in the paper bag that I don’t want to leave it”.

California.  Me?  I think it’s time.

I got passed by Kim Anderson on bike today climbing up some random canyon and immediately knew I picked the right route. It was nice to see her and her bright pink jersey, even if it was the back of it.

I’m back to Tucson tomorrow to paint Curtis’ house and then sell mine,

Happy Trails,

BB

 

The City of Lost Angels

Monday, February 5th, 2007

I never thought I’d see the day when I chose to run to Los Angeles for some solace.  That’s serious.  I told my mom yesterday, “I really like it here this time”, to which she said, “I just don’t see how that can be a good thing”. 

My family away from my family is here in the Valley. We took Shelli to the auditions for The Biggest Loser on Saturday at NBC Studios.  I have to recount the story of the guy that crossed the street from NBC to the Mobil to, no shit, get Hostess Ding Dongs.  He made a comment to a tall, attractive woman in the store, “You look like you play basketball!! (an inexplicable no-no for tall women)”.  She said, “Do I have a sign on me that says, ‘talk to me’?!?!” then left abruptly.  He somehow got hit by her car in the parking lot then raged and had two motorcycle cops, two paramedics, two police car officers, and two firemen on the site immediately.  He was fine, but yelling. I hope he gets on the show cuz I’d sit there an watch it, if he did.  Sadly, what looked like one of the casting directors was out there taking notes.  That was the point, after several hours there, when Dawn and I wandered over to the margarita store/ fish taco place for some self-medication.

I rode up Box Canyon today.  Good God stuff here is Steep!  And long. Longer than I thought possible.

We spent the day in San Diego yesterday, beginning with a proper road trip on Saturday night.  I took in a 30th birthday party, So-Cal style, and met some amazing people.

Shoot, there was another story in there, but I just blanked on it.

Yea, I might be lost:  Lost thoughts, lost most everything along the way, but finding that I’m relatively all here.  Come here if you want to feel sane and together, I guess.

BB

In memorandum

Friday, February 2nd, 2007




.

On this sad, dreary day, I was forced to say goodbye to my good friend (please download Nelly Furtado’s All Good Things Come To an End), Aprilla Replica, 50% balls and 50% heart. He was carted off by meth heads to rest or live again on this first day of February, while I was off carelessly eating breakfast.

Dear Scoot, life is so fleeting, as you have taught me, and I hope that one day we will meet again.

I remember how good you were to me: driving me to the East side and waiting while I ran until I was tired of running, only to let me climb aboard and take me home, giddee-ing it up at every stop light- my stomach sinking in delight every single time. You were good. So agile. So nimble.

You took care of the Danes when they had no mode of transportation. You were so giving. So selfless.

Scoot, you never once bucked me off like severel others did. You held me firm in your grasp, never faltering in the monsoons nor the dry desert air nor the cold windy mornings nor the southwest sunset evenings. We saw so much together. Always remember Gates Pass at 50 mph, Ina at 60 mph, almost running out of gas on Grant. We walked the wire like no other pair.

You taught me to trust again. You taught me to feel real love again. I was scarred and you knew it and took it slow until I could match your pace. For that, I could never thank you enough. You opened my heart to what is possible: to the here and now. You gave me what I thought I’d never see again: true, pure love.

I remember that time you tossed Billy and Jay into that park bench during the Shootout. You had such a great sense of humor and always looked out for me. That was our inside joke. You were strong and unpredictable. You were loyal.

The fact that Tucson is filled with Tweekers led to your demise. Endless days of cloud cover made the tweekers loot and THAT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. I was neglecting you. I will finish my days regretting that. I will never forget.

Scoot, you were loved. The Zajicek family asked me about you whenever they would see me. P. even put you in the same sentence as “Ducati” just last week. You were amazing, and humble.

Life is so short. I never got to give you a proper goodbye and that kills me. I really did love you. Some days, you gave me all I needed. I am so sick about thinking of some messed up, toothless F@#*s on your back. I hope you shrug them off at top speed and find your way back to me. You are beautiful. You are restless. You are unique and fast. You thrill me.

Forever yours,
BB