Behind the scenes at El Tour
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8500 people take part in this Rice, but not me. I spent the week slummin’ it behind the scenes. I trolled around and talked with the people that make this debaucle happen, partly on accident, partly to get my ass out, partly because I’m humored, and partly because some secret, strange part of me is attracted still to the El Tour De Tucson. It’s like a fetish.
Here are the highlights, as I found them:
*This picture is the jackpot that I stumbled upon when I met Big Johnny (www.drunkcyclist.com) and Justin at the Clif Bar booth at the fair, I mean Expo. Big Johnny is the coolest storyteller ever, is great at Acey Duecey, and we decided that the El Tour Show is like that casino that you go to on the Rez thinking you’re going to a Vegas casino and it just isn’t Vegas at all.
* Cleez hired a secretary and a driver for the weekend. I called him to tell him we were at the same restaurant, or so I heard, and Floyd Landis answered. I had him take a message saying, “Floyd? Ok, well, Floyd, tell Curtis to stop flicking me when I call. K, Thanks.”
* I spoke with an Orthopedic Intern at The Tap Room on Friday night. He mentioned that he was on call the next morning. I asked to shadow him, but he diverted my attention to the 5 people that broke their hips practicing in the two days prior.
* Todd IS the Info Booth at El Tour (www.epicrides.com). He legitimately answered his phone during dinner the other night, “EL TOUR HOTLINE…..”. He got a call asking when the “safety meeting is” and if he had to go. Todd suggested it was a good idea for him even though there was no ’safety meeting’. The stories of his questioners were entertaining in their mind-bogglingness.
* I kissed the El Tour champ, as per tradition. He is a RideClean guy out of Flag and seems to be growing into a fine young cycler.
* Team in Training had a flock of cyclists out with fins on top of their helmets when Jake and I were ascending Gates the other day. We were just going steady, but passed them…sidenote here: I have had it out for Team in Training, prolly the only person in the US that does, for a $800 check that they wrote me for coaching them that they stopped payment on. A complete breech of contract that I ultimately dropped because I feared karma….but anyway, I hear one of the guys wearing a fin on his helmet, close to right behind me, asking where to turn when we hit the top. WHA?!?!? Goddamn I need to ride more.
* I rolled around backwards on the course yesterday then headed into the Tucson Mountains when I couldn’t stand it anymore. You know those movies where the snarled traffic is LAYING on their horns full on and you think, ‘yea right. That doesn’t happen in real life’….well, it does on El Tour Day.. The 10 exit was unreal. I peeked over there and thought I might get shot because I might be mistaken as a perp.