KGUN News declared over and over, and over again that, apparently, the world is ending. Apocolypse seems to be occuring in the form of 32 degree overnight temperatures. How does this pertain to me? Well, I rode in warm rain this morning and had one of the most peaceful rides ever in Tucson. Also, I’m eating a lot of soup.

How does this pertain to you? Well, winter is here, too.

I have a housemate for three weeks, Guy Smiley, Buddy Lee’s former teammate. Guy seems to be prepared for the winter storm warning, as he learned today that gloves, although not necessary, are posh in Tucson in the latest part of November.

Other news:

*Jones was last seen in an RV park in Arkansas throwing empty beer caps into anything else metal while waiting for his trany to be serviced.
*The rain made Jake scream at me. Motivational CTS coach, he certainly is. As I said ‘goodbye, you guys go’ this morning during the ride he looked at me, riding away, shouting, “BFF! BFF! B-F-F!!!!”. I am considering making bracelets for Xmas. If I weren’t boycotting X-mas, that is.

*We have discovered that the causes of obesity according to the nightly news every single night are thus: genetics, lack of sleep, air-conditioning, sleep apnia, being victimized, feelings of impatience, our national identity, not eating protein drinks, eating protein bars for breakfast, not enough sex or water or both, not enough plastic surgery, boredom, intolerance, and a need to fit in. Lack of exercise and improper diet are NOT related, after all.
I’m praying for snow plows. Not really. Well, kinda.
BB

by Becky Broeder

Fat Camp is fun.  I ate a big salad with some steak on it for dinner.  After dinner, I took some movies back to Casa then went to bed and read Dwell Magazine.  I fell asleep at 10 pm and at 11 pm I woke up and threw up my salad.  I was very cold.  I moaned around for two hours and at 1:14 am I threw up more of my salad.  There was much more of the same that happened between 1:14 and 7:57 am. My five days of training felt like I had done five Ironmans in a row and I was still very cold. I woke up and I wrote some text messages in my peace and quiet and then took three ibuprofens, hoping Fat Camp wouldn’t make me get rid of those, too.  Thankfully, no, and I slept until 1:34 pm, then moved myself to the couch and watched Divorce Court.  I then watched Dr.Phil, where they are putting a crack whore through detox and I realized that Fat Camp is actually me going through heroin detoxification because I felt just like the crack whore said. Just like it!  I then watched Oprah give money away then was able to move to the bathtub after making some phone calls.  Fat Camp has epsom salts!  I then ate one piece of bread, plain, and liking that, I had a chunk of cheese.

Now, I am watching Wife Swap and will try some soup while I watch the two hour Bachelor Special.  This is great.  No exercise, no arts and crafts, and no contact to the outside world. And, I’ll be skinny soon!

Wish you were here,

BB

I awoke to a news report on the alarm at 4:45 or something near there. It was decided that something was an outrage, then announced publicly. I immediately thought of Nikki and Sheeby throwing their fists to the sky, thinking of the last time I heard that phrase. I believe it had something to do with a craft fair in Kenosha.
In all seriousness, my guess is they were declaring Christmas and outrage.
Also declared outrageous is the Shootout, which was comfortable and tiny today.

In other news, I declared that people, in general, are outraged and thus are an outrage themselves.

The BCC also announced that Americans have been declared an outrage based on the increasing size of consumer debt incurred per capita during the holiday season, then, the announcement was amended, stating that Americans are an outrage, too, because of the increasing size of themselves, per capita, in general terms.

I am declaring myself an outrage because I just noticed a football game listing ‘USC’ and ‘ND’ and thought, “wow. North Dakota is playing USC”.

Ah to hell with it, I am hereby declaring everything
an outrage.

Yours Outrageously,

BB

so why don’t we?

I got cut off hard by an Audi driving ass in the AJ’s parking lot at lunch today. He was diving into a spot so that he could indulge in the holiday spirit that seems to include screwing people and hating your ‘neighbor’. I honked out of the need to be acknowledged, like some attempt to tell him to look at me when he screws me, and he flipped us off.

Oh man.

Kinda made me want to wait in line all night to buy the hottest toy then slink through AJ’s and throw the Wiiiii  that I just put on my over-the-limit credit card with a 29% interest rate at him.

I would put my only $10 in the Salvation Army bucket just to see one person that enjoys the holidays and shares that joy with others so that all the people around that person might enjoy this season just a little.

As for me, my word of the year is ‘disillusionment’ so I think I will pretend to be Buddhist and maybe be that person that makes nice. Just to piss people off, that is.

Ok, easy. I got dropped on the Wednesday ride and I’m pissy when I’m fat and unfit.

I am tossing ideas around about a pro cyclists’ union. Not really for women, per se, but for my brethren that risk life and limb then don’t get the payment they were promised for another four months. I am looking for suggestions because what is happening for those guys is not working. USA Cycling has health insurance now for $25 a month, no matter if you are in a USA Cycling sanctioned event or just living, so do it. Kudos to them. I think, however, it’s high time that teams provide what they promise to riders that are doing this for their career. I mean, c’mon. You don’t ride, you don’t race, you don’t make money, you don’t eat. Or, worse, you ride, you race, you don’t make money, you don’t eat. It’s a crazy system run on the premise of “I have a hundred guys that will do it, so buck up and eat it”. Not right on many levels. Not quite right at all. Get me some ideas cuz I’d like to see something happen with this. I can at least guarantee a heavy brainstorming session and some banter. Footnote: My team is awesome, by the way. Maybe we can get Nikki to research some labor laws…
Geez, I think it’s nap time. I have a lot of peace to catch up on.

Happy Biggest Travel Day of the Year!
BB

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8500 people take part in this Rice, but not me. I spent the week slummin’ it behind the scenes. I trolled around and talked with the people that make this debaucle happen, partly on accident, partly to get my ass out, partly because I’m humored, and partly because some secret, strange part of me is attracted still to the El Tour De Tucson. It’s like a fetish.

Here are the highlights, as I found them:
*This picture is the jackpot that I stumbled upon when I met Big Johnny (www.drunkcyclist.com) and Justin at the Clif Bar booth at the fair, I mean Expo. Big Johnny is the coolest storyteller ever, is great at Acey Duecey, and we decided that the El Tour Show is like that casino that you go to on the Rez thinking you’re going to a Vegas casino and it just isn’t Vegas at all.

* Cleez hired a secretary and a driver for the weekend. I called him to tell him we were at the same restaurant, or so I heard, and Floyd Landis answered. I had him take a message saying, “Floyd? Ok, well, Floyd, tell Curtis to stop flicking me when I call. K, Thanks.” (more…)

have proven what I have been telling people for years: Red Wine reduces obesity, reverses aging, AND now has been proven to INCREASE ENDURANCE.  Lab Mice that were injected with the nectar ran a whole hell of a lot farther and faster than those that weren’t.

HELL YA!
It’s that special cooky time of year here in Tucson. The debaucle that can only be described as El Tour.  I’ll be lurking around, so reports of the pre-func, the RICE, and the post-func to follow.

Happy Friday.  Watch out for recumbants.

BB

When the coffee leaves my empty stomach and enters my bloodstream. It makes me want the whole pot because it makes me feel like I can do anything. THAT is why I’ve never done coke or heroin.

A myspace question asked: ‘have you ever smoked cocaine?’. I didn’t even know you could.

Which brings me to this: check these guys out: www.rideclean.net . Doug Loveday is doing something really cool here. His approach is admirable, just getting the word out without slander and ‘look at me-ism’. (more…)

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I got my palm read at a little house party last night. I’m going to start making decisions based on what Bruce (whose grandmother was a gypsy) told me my dominant hand says.

First off, I don’t have many close friends. That’s true. I have heaps of acquaintances and a handful of people that are close to me. Bruce told me I need to keep better track of people, but my hand tells me there are three or four people that are real friends. So, I’ll just keep in touch with them. Now, I don’t feel so bad about only letting a select few people really know me, cuz geez, it’s in my handprint. And all along I thought something was wrong with me.

Next, my long time friend line merges with my love line. Yea, I knew that would happen cuz I can’t date people I don’t know well. They think I’m nuts. But the kicker is this: (more…)